Posted by Michael Bunker
editor@lazarusunbound.com
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October 1, 2001 — That's all I'm saying!

Holy War ain’t that bad a deal, especially if you can write off your grenade launchers, bombs and stinger missiles as a 501c-3 tax-exempt part of “the ministry”.

Jihad is easy for the militant, demon-inspired Islamist/CIA flack. It is so much harder for a small-time Texas desert terrorist like me (a guy who can only drop truth bombs) to get a hold of some mighty fine ordnance like that. I don’t have access to vast oil or opium poppy fields. I’m not currently serving the interests of the Globalist Cabal, so I don’t qualify for millions of dollars in black-op drug money. My family never got in on the millions to be had in illicit banking and the financing of foreign wars. Heck, my family never even got in on the millions to be made in dot.com stocks.

Although, there was that ONE chance at being a millionaire that I missed back in the early nineties

Back in early &$0146;92, before Al Gore invented the internet, there was no such thing as the “internet” like you and I use it today. Back then the internet consisted mostly of interconnected Bulletin Boards where you could post discussion items and points of interest. There were no “dot.com” companies, and their was virtually no buying or selling on the internet. One day, I was perusing an advertising magazine and I saw a wholesale advertisement for printed coffee mugs. On a whim, I ordered 144 coffee mugs with a political slogan on it (No, I’m not going to tell you the slogan). I posted an ad for the mugs on one of the largest bulletin boards in the country. A couple of days later, my wife and I started receiving checks in the mail. Bunches of checks. At night, after work, sitting on the floor of our small apartment, we would package up coffee mugs and send them all over the country. It was fun at first, until we started to get returns and broken mugs and all of the other nuisances that retail operations have to deal with. To me, it wasn’t worth the stress for a couple of hundred bucks a month. I pulled the ad and looked at my wife and in total sincerity said this:

NO ONE will EVER get rich selling stuff through the computer!

Many years later, as I read the stories of the founders of Amazon.com and the other internet millionaires, I would just laugh. God is truly good. If I had made a million dollars in internet money, I would likely be hiding out in the caves of New Mexico waiting for the New World Order military to drop bombs on my head.

A Poor Man’s Jihad

American “Christians” don’t believe in anything enough to truly wage a Jihad over it. They will wave a flag for “freedom” so long as they never have to define any actual principles for which they are willing to fight. They want freedom “from” something, not real liberty. They want to be guaranteed freedom FROM poverty, FROM discomfort, FROM tribulation, FROM persecution, FROM reality, FROM responsibility. They will seethe over the deaths of 6000 people in a building in New York City, and in their ignorant, manipulated desire for revenge, they will watch idly while their President drops all sanctions against a government (Sudan) that has butchered 2 MILLION Christians in about 8 years. That’s 6000 a day for 333 days. Can you imagine how miffed the leaders of the New Unity Religion would be if 6000 Non-Christians were killed every day for 333 days?

Our war is unpopular, and our coffers are empty, so many of us are left to fight a poor man’s Jihad. We are called Terrorists because we won’t march in lockstep with the New World masses, and we will not bow to some fascist Caesar. The communists are mad because the fascists are in power, just as (for many years) the fascists were mad because the communists were in power. Statism reigns, while the church hums sweet hymns in the background and promises the gifts of the spirit for a gift of cold, hard cash.

Maybe it’s time for Texas Secession

GWB and the boys are busy over yonder. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to take a National ID, so we’re gonna have to make a stand somewhere. Maybe a little teeny Jihad down here in the Republic of Texas is in order. Enough talk of new constitutions and verbal revolution — let’s get 100,000 REAL Christians to circle up out here in the last bastion of freedom left in the world. We’ll call ‘ol Santa Ana Bush and tell him to come and get us! If not, I’ll have to sell all of these old coffee mugs for a little more ammo. Sometimes Jihad is a lonely fight.

All We Are Saying, Is Give Jihad A Chance!!!

I am your servant in Christ Jesus,

Michael Bunker